My first rock concert was to see the Beach Boys in the early 1960s, and I fell in love 鈥� not just with the joyous surfin鈥� sound, but with the ballads like 鈥淚n My Room鈥� and 鈥淒on鈥檛 Worry Baby,鈥� written and sung with quiet anguish by the boy not much older than me, Brian Wilson.
He was the gentle creative genius behind the Beach Boys, the first pop musician credited with writing, arranging, producing and performing his own material, holding harmonies meant for a choir in his head.
Bob Dylan , 鈥淭hat ear. I mean, Jesus, he鈥檚 got to will that to the Smithsonian,鈥� and, 鈥淗e gave us little slices of the twinkle in God鈥檚 eye.鈥�
By the mid-1960s, Wilson had steered more than two dozen hits to the top of the charts.
By 1964, he鈥檇 had a nervous breakdown.
We, his many fans, always saw him as sensitive and fragile, felt we had to cheer him on, lift him up. And it only added to his tortured-genius lore when after his breakdown, in 1966, the Beach Boys released Brian Wilson鈥檚 masterpiece, the first concept album, 鈥淧et Sounds.鈥�
But his downward spiral continued. Drug addictions. Mental health diagnosis. His family said a quack psychologist took over Wilson鈥檚 life.
He was slipping through our fingers. And then he just disappeared.
Fast forward to 1999. I was working at a commercial radio station in Boston and saw that Wilson had stepped tentatively back on the stage for the first time in years in Chicago.
So, I called the great concert promoter, the late Freddie Taylor, and said, 鈥渓et鈥檚 get Wilson and the Beach Boys!鈥�
And we did. Wilson was petrified, but he sold out Boston鈥檚 Symphony Hall. I also did a lovely interview, which no one has been able to find since.
It wouldn鈥檛 be the first time I鈥檇 lose Brian Wilson.
Because of that first interview in 1999, I was offered another in 2002, for Here and Now. But incredibly there were rare technical difficulties when we aired the interview.
For years, we thought that was lost as well.
When the news came that Brian Wilson had died at the age of 82, I told colleagues I was trying to find any trace of him. They jumped into action and found a portion of our talk.
Again, it was 2002, Wilson鈥檚 unlikely comeback from a hallucinogenic drug and mental health- addled wilderness had grown from Chicago and Boston to London, where the Beach Boys had just re-recorded the 鈥淧et Sounds鈥� album, live. We would talk about that, and you can hear the damage done to Brian鈥檚 speech and thought process. But his kind soul was very much intact.
Robin Young鈥檚 2002 conversation with Brian Wilson
This interview was edited for clarity.
Let鈥檚 go back for a second, what was it like to play for only the second time in years at the sold-out Symphony Hall?
鈥淚t was quite a hum. I really feel very, very honored and proud yeah.
It brought the house down, didn鈥檛 it?鈥�
What do you think that is, so many years later?
鈥淲ell, I don鈥檛 know, to tell you the truth. I don鈥檛 know, I think it was just time for me to hit the road and get going.鈥�
What happens in the concerts when you play through 鈥淧et Sounds鈥�?
鈥淧eople are quiet and they listen hard, but they listen very carefully. It鈥檚 a special album. Because it brings love to people and they need that love.鈥�
I didn鈥檛 know it was a concept album. I just thought it was beautiful. When you were writing it, were you thinking it was a concept album?
鈥淣o, I didn鈥檛 think it was a concept album. It was just an album that had some continuity to it. You know, one song flows into another.鈥�
The voice of a singer sounds like a young man, he also seems to be singing about as one title says, not being 鈥渕ade for these times鈥�?
鈥淵eah, it鈥檚 about a guy who is too far ahead of his time.鈥�
Was that you?
鈥渊别补丑.鈥�
How else did you feel that, being too far ahead of your time?
鈥淎ll kind of strange. But that was just that one song you know. It didn鈥檛 necessarily have to be the truth. Well, some of it was the truth, yeah.鈥�
What were the things influencing you when you wrote your music? Some people, especially younger people, think it was just surf and sun.
鈥淩ight. Well, I met a collaborator named Tony Asher, and he and I decided to take a different approach. To venture to new areas of music, that鈥檚 what we did.鈥�
Can you remember what you were feeling when you were actually writing this music?
鈥淚 was feeling very, very full of love. I had a lot of love to express in my voice in my heart.鈥�
And yet there were some tough times as well. Your dad for instance was tough on you guys?
鈥淵eah, he cracked the whip quite a bit, he got us in gear.鈥�
Was there more than that?
鈥淚t got that way, yeah, it did for a while.鈥�
Was there a way you found to talk about that in the music?
鈥淚t came out in 鈥淐aroline, No.鈥� I expressed love because I was being beaten up a lot by my dad and I just wanted to express love.鈥�
It鈥檚 funny. I asked you about that a few years ago and you couldn鈥檛 talk about that then.
鈥淵eah, it鈥檚 actually kind of tough to talk about right now.鈥�
That leads me to the breakdown. Do you know what happened?
鈥淚 have auditory hallucinations in my head. It got very intense. I had to stop for a while.鈥�
It must be intense, especially since you鈥檙e a songwriter and you鈥檙e going to hear songs in your head.
鈥凌颈驳丑迟.鈥�
These (hallucinations) were not good?
鈥淣辞.鈥�
Do you know why it happened?
鈥淣o, I don鈥檛.鈥�
Do you know why it stopped?
鈥淚 got off my butt and started working.鈥�
The song 鈥淚 Know There鈥檚 an Answer鈥�. When you introduce that song, you say this is sort of a Bob Dylan lyric.
鈥淩ight, right. I was thinking, my God, you know this is going to be fantastic! We鈥檙e writing something very special here.鈥�
Can you say more?
鈥淣辞.鈥� [laughs]
How about the song 鈥淭hese Times Now鈥�? Do you feel that?
鈥淵eah, I feel more in tune, like I feel a lot better. I fit in because I don鈥檛 know, I just fit into life better. Because I鈥檓 not doing something that鈥檚 ahead of my time, I鈥檓 in my time now.鈥�
And then, some technical gremlins started to creep in, just as we were laughing about the Barenaked Ladies hit song, 鈥淏rian Wilson鈥�. The lyrics, 鈥渓ying in bed just like Brian Wilson did,鈥� are reference to the years Wilson couldn鈥檛 get out of bed. Wilson laughed and sang some of the song. He said he sings it on stage.
The rest of our interview is just gone.
Why is it so damn hard to hold onto Brian Wilson?
This week we learned he died, at 82, held by his loving family, after a diagnosis of dementia.
After decades of joining fans in rooting him on, searching for him in so many different ways, I can鈥檛 help but think, maybe he wasn鈥檛 mine, or ours, to hold on to after all.
I鈥檓 letting go of Brian Wilson, with the deepest gratitude for all he struggled to give us.
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